38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
