i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
