We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
