his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
