Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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