I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
