If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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