How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
