And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
