Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
