hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I puked a lego.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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