we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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