his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
