so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
