Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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