i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
try to milk me bitch
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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