and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
