let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
