I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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