i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
