do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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