"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
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