fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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