Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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