you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
3pm strippers are depressing
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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