As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Im part way to drunk.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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