now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
