this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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