You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
