in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
