Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
