I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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