You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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