We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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