It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
