I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Randomize
