girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
