Ambien. No doubt about it.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
