At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.