and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.