my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
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He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
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I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body