i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball