At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
