Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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