Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
