i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
