Just fell off a train. Bad.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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