You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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