If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Randomize