Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
her vagine was all disorganized.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
