just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I understand Curling. That high.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
