Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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