didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
