sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
