You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
