she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
