You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
