K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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