Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
