I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
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Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
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He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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