update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
