my soul wont recognize me after tonight
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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